Journal #4- Chapters 10 - 12 (Ms. Dubose)

Journal #4- Chapters 10 - 12 (Ms. Dubose)

I always knew that my morphine addiction would eat away at my soul but it always kept the pain tame and settle. It was just about time before I knew I’d go crazy. Besides, look at me, I’ve been dying for years now and all I wanted to do was die free of everything. I would have to suffer the consequences of the withdrawals and try to amount to as much pain as I could. My porch, bed, and bathroom were about as far as I could get around now-a-days. I would always just sit on my porch and watch my neighbors pass by every morning and afternoon. One day, Mr. Finch’s girl called out to me, “Hey, Mrs. Dubose.” Did that girl have any manners at all?

“Don’t you say hey to me, you ugly girl! You say good afternoon, Mrs. Dubose,” I retorted. Before I could full comprehend what I had just yelled, both her and her brother were gone and heading into town. I had once heard them both refer to their father as “Atticus”. How rude. That’s their father their speaking to and that is no way to talk to your superiors. Those children needed some serious punishin’ and I was determined to give it to them. No matter how sick I was, they needed to know what their family truly was. I once told them that it was quite a pity for their father for he had not remarried after their mother’s death. A lovelier lady like their mother never lived and it was heartbreak to see that Atticus Finch let his children run wild.

This particular morning, I saw Miss. and Mr. Finch walking into town mid day and asked them what they were doin’ out that time of day. I told them that if they were playin’ hookey, like they usual did, I would call up the principal and tell him what they were up to.

“Aw, it’s Saturday, Mrs. Dubose,” said the boy.
“Makes no difference if it’s Saturday,” I said obscurely. “I wonder if your father knows where you are?” I bet he didn’t have a clue that they were just runnin’ wild all over the town and disruptin’ this neighbor hood.
“Mrs. Dubose, we’ve been goin’ to town by ourselves since we were this high.” The boy placed his palm down about two feet above the sidewalk.
“Don’t you lie to me! Jeremy Finch, Maudie Atkinson told me you broke down her scuppernong arbor this morning. She’s going to tell your father and then you’ll wish you never saw the light of day!” I said. “If you aren’t sent to the reform school before next week, my name’s not Dubose!” If they were smart enough, they’d know that if they didn’t get to reform school in a week, then I would be the one to send them there myself! All of a sudden, Mr. Jeremy started talkin’ ‘bout how he ain’t been near Miss Maudies scuppernong arbor since last summer.
“Don’t you contradict me!” I bawled. I looked at what Miss Jean Louise was wearin’ and found it the right moment to point out how she wasn’t lady like if she was gonna wear those overalls the rest of her life. “You should be in a dress and camisole, young lady! You’ll grow up waiting on tables if somebody doesn’t change your ways – a Finch aiting on tables at the O.K Café- hah!” I laughed just thinking about it. “Not only a Finch waiting on tables but one in the courthouse lawin’ for niggers!” There I got them. They stood stiff in their tracks and all Jeremy did was turn scarlet and pull at his sleeve. After a moment, they turned in silence and continued one their way for town. Serves them right; What has Atticus let these children become? They’re filthy. After a while, they passed again but this time I wasn’t sitting on my porch. I was lying in bed when I heard banging outside my front door. That Jeremy Finch had cut off each top off of each camellia bush I owned and left a broken baton on my porch to find.

I called Atticus Finch and told them that his kid had ruined all of my plants and left a mess on my front porch. I also told him that I wanted to speak with him and show him the wreck that Mr. Jeremy had left me. Later that evening, I was out relaxing on my porch when I heard foot steps approaching. It was Jeremy Finch. Supposedly he came over to apologize and clean up the mess he had left me. He also promised me that he would come over every Saturday to water my plants until all the tops grew back. As that didn’t compensate for him getting mad at me simply for telling him the straight up truth, I told him that as a part of his punishment, he could come over everyday, including Saturdays, and read to me.

That following Monday afternoon, I heard a knock at the door and told Jessie to go answer it for me.
“Mrs. Dubose?” he called.
“Is that you, Jem Finch?” she asked. “You got your sister with you. I don’t know...” said Jessie.
Stubborn Jessie, that girl. “Let them both in, Jessie,” I said. I was lying under a pile of quilts in my bed anxiously awaiting their presence. “So you brought that dirty little sister of yours, did you?” was the first thing I said to Jem when they walked in.
“My sister ain’t dirty and I ain’t scared of you,” he said.
“You may commence reading, Jeremy,” was all I said before I the clock started ticking. Jeremy opened up Ivanhoe and while doing so, both pulled up chairs near my bed. Although I knew that I was not quite going to listen to every detail Mr. Finch was saying, I knew that I would be half deaf if I didn’t tell them to come closer. “Come to the side of the bed.” They moved their chairs forward and he began reading. At times, I heard him take a slight pause and knew that he was leaving out some context and would ask him to say it best he could or for him to spell it out.

15 minutes down. My eyes had a permanent hold on the steel alarm clock but would try concentrating on the children’s faces instead. I was slowly drifted into a cold sleep. In both corners of my mouth, I was salivating and saliva was dripping down my chin and onto my pillow case. Saliva would collect on my lips and I would lick them again and again until I gave up and let the suffer and consequence take all of me. The alarm clock rang and was glad that it was finally over, for now. It was about time. I could feel my arms and legs trembling underneath the heavy layering of blankets. I had chills running down my spine and saliva down my chin. Jessie must’ve sent the children away because I didn’t hear them leave. Every day, I would set the alarm clock later and later each day to see how long I could last without having a seizure.

The reading continued for a month as agreed but was surprised when Mr. Jeremy read to me one extra week. It was nice though. I wanted him to know how much I appreciated him takin’ the time to come over and read to an old sick lady like me and told Jessie to put a nice camellia plant into a candy box before I died. I just hope he knows how much I appreciated him coming over everyday to read to me. Slowly, I watched as the light slowly grew dimmer every second until everything went dark and cold.